Posted by: lornasass | November 26, 2011


During my coach’s training, I became keenly aware of how often my point of view (otherwise known as opinion, judgment,  or belief) was very limiting, holding me back from taking pleasure in life. 

Since I have the good fortune to be coaching clients around coming up with more life-affirming points of view, I have daily reminders to do that myself.

Case in point:   When it came to aging, I found myself holding a strong point of view, namely “Getting older sucks.”  I alternated this statement with its twin, “Getting older isn’t for sissies.” 

One day I noticed that buying into these two cliches resulted in frequent lamentations (to myself and to long suffering friends) about my aches and pains.  These lamentations evoked a good deal of fear about my impending death (which is actually likely to be decades off).  All of this negative palaver was exhausting me.

Hey, wait a minute: Wasn’t I holding an intention to age with grace?

Fortunately, some wise part of me (the ripe, aged part?) noticed that my “getting older sucks” point of view wasn’t serving my intention. 

And an even wiser part of me (the part that understands the benefit and privilege of hanging out for a long time on a bench in Central Park?) got the idea to find a new point of view:  Get curious about the aging process.  Notice what’s happening, do what’s necessary, then read a book, go to the theater, volunteer at a soup kitchen, or hang out some more on a park bench.

In other words, give up lamenting and get back to enjoying all there is. 

So dear reader, that’s my story.

Now I am hoping you’ll be inspired to change your point of view about some belief limiting you.  Try the exercise below and let me know how you do in the comments box. I’d love to hear all about your experience.

Exercise// Coming up with new points of view:  Draw a large tic-tac-toe board (see picture below).  In the center box, write your current limiting point of view. Pay attention to how small it feels to be stuck in that tiny box.  Then stand up, take the paper with you, and walk to another quadrant of the room (or close your eyes and move in your imagination).  Imagine what a friend might say, or tune into your higher wisdom and ask what might be another point of view.  Write this down in the second quadrant.  Take a moment to notice how it feels.

Move to another quadrant and repeat.  Continue repeating until you fill in all (or most) of the boxes. Note that some quadrants have two open sides and some only one. Notice briefly how each one feels.  Which one feels the most free?

Now choose the point of view that you would like to embody moving forward. Remind yourself of this new point of view every morning and picture yourself stepping out of this quadrant into a much larger life.  Go for it!



  1. Perhaps also

    OLDER = passing on some experiences to people who might benefit from them.
    OLDER = feeling more
    OLDER = not being dead

    I know the last one sounds harsh, but it is also true! Having your knees hurt when you climb the stairs is a nuisance but it is better than feeling nothing at all.

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